


A Knee-Jerk Reaction

by midnightstreet



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: (but in a silly way), Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M, Safeword Use, accidental injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27515251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/pseuds/midnightstreet
Summary: ...oops.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 6
Kudos: 93





	A Knee-Jerk Reaction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reginahalliwell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/gifts).



> A little bit of silly for Alex - thank you for your help (and keeping me calm) in my time of crisis!
> 
> The idea for this was 'safewording done humorously'. Don't think I quite hit that, but I hope it puts a little smile on your face.
> 
> (Thank you S!)

“God, David, I am _so_ sorry.”

“You’re going to have to stop saying that eventually, you know.”

“I’ve got a lot of guilt to work off.”

“You _know_ it wasn’t your fault. No, we will not be taking the apology tour any further.”

“Baby, I…”

“Hey, shouldn’t I have a piece of raw steak on my face? Like those big sweaty guys who wear the little silk shorts and hit each other get when this happens to them? Wait, _is_ that a thing? Or have the movies lied to me again?”

“Did you put a big slab of steak in my freezer when I wasn’t looking?”

“Hmm, I see your point.”

“Bag of peas it is, then. How’s the swelling? Let me see? Oof, yeah, that’s gonna be a heck of a shiner.”

“That word is so deceiving: ‘shiner’ sounds like something beautiful and sparkly, not a whole mess of broken blood vessels from which my complexion may never—”

“David? What’s with that look on, uh...half...your face?”

“Fuck, Patrick, how am I going to afford the plastic surgery?!”

“David, you don’t need plastic surgery. I’ve gotten multiple black eyes from sports — and assholes picking fights — and healed just fine. See?”

“Hmm, I suppose you’re still quite handsome.”

“I am, aren’t I? Gah! Red! **Red!** ”

“Mmk, so we’re definitely going to be calling the tickling a hard limit, then.”

“Unless you want to take a _second_ knee to the face? Yes, we’re putting that firmly in the ‘No’ column.”


End file.
